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 As you can imagine being the last Time Lord can have it's perks, and this is one of those examples was an invite to the Intergalatic Law Seminar where I was to address a group of law students on my own little brush with the law (namely Time Lord law) and so felt that in order not to disappoint my loyal fans would give you a summary of the case.
A bolt of energy draws the TARDIS to a gigantic spaceship, and it materializes inside a Time Lord courtroom. The Doctor, somewhat disoriented, is greeted by a sardonic Valeyard, and finds himself before a jury of his peers, accused of meddling in the affairs of other worlds and of conduct unbecoming a Time Lord. The Valeyard intends to prove to the Inquisitor that the High Council showed too great a leniency the last time it tried the Doctor on charges of this nature. The Doctor insists that he can't be tried, since he's President of Gallifrey, but learns that since he neglected his duties he was deposed. The Valeyard prepares to begin by presenting evidence of the Doctor's interference in the affairs of the planet Ravolox, with evidence drawn directly from the Matrix...
The Doctor and Peri are exploring the forests of Ravolox, which, according to all logic, shouldn't exist. Time Lord records claim that Ravolox was ravaged by a solar fireball five centuries ago and yet life still exists in abundance. The Doctor's more interested in the remarkable similarity between Ravolox and Earth; in fact, the planets are alike in every way except for their actual location in the galaxy. As the Doctor and Peri continue to explore, they're unaware that they're being observed by two seedy lowlifes, Glitz and Dibber, who prepare to gun them down on the assumption that they're poaching on Glitz and Dibber's territory. But they're a moment too late; the Doctor and Peri, noticing a native bangle, enter a nearby cave, going out of range. Now Glitz and Dibber have a problem. There's a fully-functional L3 robot in the complex below their feet, and to render it non-operational they must destroy the maglem mark 7 light converter which provides it with energy, and which the local tribe of primitives worshipes as a totem. But now that they've got competition, the two strangers they've seen might take the window of opportunity to seize the goods and escape; and if Glitz and Dibber go after them now they'll run into the L3 robot at its full strength. Glitz decides to risk going for the light converter first; odds are the strangers will be killed before the L3 can be shut down. The Doctor and Peri, unaware that they're being observed (and not just by Glitz and Dibber), walk down what appears to be an ancient staircase and find themselves in an underground cavern like a tube station. Peri is appalled when she unearths a sign indicating that that's exactly what it is; Marble Arch Underground station. They're on Earth, millions of years in her future, and it's been destroyed and forgotten. The Doctor is puzzled and determined to investigate the mystery; exploring further, he finds a hermetically sealed airlock and passes through, while Peri, still upset, decides to wait behind. But she's captured by two primitive warriors.
The Doctor demands to know why he's being forced to watch events irrelevant to the main point... and suddenly realizes that he doesn't know where Peri is now. The Valeyard claims that this testimony will become relevant later and suggests that the Doctor may be suffering temporary amnesia due to his removal from the space-time continuum. The evidence continues.
The Doctor finds himself in a sparkling-clean, highly advanced underground complex, but when he picks up a vial of water from a nearby pedestal to examine it further, alarms sound and he is set upon by overalled men bearing clubs. The Immortal, the giant robot which rules the underground complex, detects the presence of a superfluous work-unit at Marb Station and orders the captain of his guard patrol, Merdeen, to cull it. Glitz and Dibber contact the local primitive tribe and are taken to their leader, Queen Katryca of the Tribe of the Free. Glitz attempts to ingratiate himself with her, claiming that the totem which her tribe worships is a malfunctioning navigational beacon which must be shut down before it causes the fireball which ravaged their planet to return. He learns too late that many other visitors from other worlds have come to Ravolox... each with an entirely different reason why the totem should be destroyed. The tribesmen overpower Glitz and Dibber, take their guns and throw them in prison, where they will be tortured until they tell the truth. Katryca, meanwhile, intends to use the guns to attack the Immortal. The Doctor recovers from his beating to find himself chained to a post while Balazar, Reader of the Books of Knowledge, organizes a stoning. The Doctor is accused of stealing water, a precious commodity in the underground complex; but he's more surprised when he learns that the Books of Knowledge of which Balazar is so proud are "The Water Babies", "Moby Dick", and, most mysterious of all, "U.K. Habitats of the Canadian Goose" by H.M. Stationery Office. The stoning begins, and although the Doctor uses his umbrella to deflect some of the missiles he is soon overwhelmed...
The Doctor proudly boasts about his clever and unexpected use of the umbrella to catch his attackers off guard, and this is all the Valeyard needs to prove his point. The Doctor takes pride in his irresponsibility, and although this started as a mere inquiry, the Valeyard moves that it should be considered a trial -- and if the Doctor is found guilty, the Valeyard strongly suggests the death penalty. The Doctor realizes that the Valeyard's determination to prosecute him goes far beyond the call of duty. The Inquisitor takes the Valeyard's suggestion under advisement and the evidence continues...
Merdeen and his guards arrive, interrupting the stoning, and when the Immortal sees the Doctor on his monitors he orders Merdeen to bring the intruder to him. Merdeen also orders Balazar to accompany them; if the Doctor dies on the way the Immortal may wish to question Balazar about him. On the way to the Immortal's Castle the Doctor recovers, and learns a bit more about the underground complex; all serve the Immortal, and occasionally the brightest work-units are selected to join the Immortal in his castle and are never seen again. The Immortal's current two servants, Humker and Tandrell, observe the Doctor on their monitor and discuss his physiognomy, and the Immortal orders them to activate an L1 service robot in case it is needed later.
Peri is brought to the Tribe of the Free, where Katryca greets her as a new recruit and offers to find her some excellent husbands. Peri is imprisoned with Glitz and Dibber while she considers the offer, and they question her and are surprised to learn that her companion is a Time Lord. Is that how he knew exactly where to go? In any case, Glitz now has a contingency plan; if he can get the Tribe on his side they can drill a hole into the underground complex and fill it with poisonous gas, wiping out the L3 robot's labour force and leaving it relatively defenceless. But his plans come to nothing when he and his fellow prisoners are brought before Katryca; she isn't interested in anything he has to say, and intends to sacrifice him to her gods as appeasement for his attempt to steal the totem. The Doctor is sent alone into the Immortal's Castle, while the L1 service robot guards the entryway. Inside, he meets Humker, Tandrell, and the Immortal, who turns out to be an L3 robot named Drathro. Drathro saved the Doctor's life because it believed him to be from Andromeda; now it recognizes its mistake, but it has another task for him. The black light system which provides it with power is running down, and the Doctor must repair it -- or die.
The Doctor points out that he's obviously working under duress, but the Valeyard insists that the chain of events they are witnessing was triggered by the Doctor's decision to visit Ravolox. The evidence continues...
The Doctor eventually determines that the fault lies in the collection antenna on the surface, but Drathro concludes that he is lying in order to escape and orders him to continue with his work. As the Doctor works, he learns more about the complex; Drathro was ordered to maintain an underground survival complex in which the Sleepers could wait for their relief ships to arrive from Andromeda, but the relief ships failed to arrive and the Sleepers are long since dead. Drathro, however, is inflexibly obeying its programming, even to the point of strictly rationing recycled water although it's freely available aboveground. The Doctor, having learned all he can, tricks Humker, Tandrell and Drathro into holding onto live electrical wires, temporarily stunning them while he escapes; but Drathro sends the L1 robot after him...
Merdeen sends his guards out to search for the Doctor, but privately pulls back Balazar to speak with him. Merdeen knows the truth about the complex and is sick of the cullings; instead of killing people when the population goes over quota, he has been sending them to the surface to survive in the Tribe of the Free. He offers to let Balazar escape, but is unaware that his second-in-command, Grell, is lurking nearby, listening to them. On their way out they run into the escaping Doctor, who reluctantly agrees to help Balazar escape. Merdeen wants to be free from the rule of the Immortal, and the Doctor agrees to help after he's finished his other business.
The Valeyard points out that the Doctor had the opportunity to extract himself from the situation but deliberately chose to remain.
While being marched to the execution yard, Glitz and Dibber overpower their guards, and Glitz and Peri flee, drawing the hunt away while Dibber hides nearby with a bomb. As soon as the coast is clear, Dibber destroys the black light converter, sending shockwaves down into Drathro's castle. But he is spotted and pursued as well. The chase reaches the entrance to the underground complex, where the Doctor and Balazar are just emerging, and the Doctor and his friends find themselves trapped between angry villagers and the approaching L1 service robot. Broken Tooth uses Glitz's gun to damage the L1 robot, which temporarily shuts down while Humker and Tandrell desperately attempt to conduct repairs by remote control. The Doctor learns to his horror that Dibber has destroyed Drathro's black light converter; the chain reaction could cause an enormous explosion, and he now has no choice but to shut down the system entirely. But Broken Tooth, an acquaintance of Balazar's who was also rescued by Merdeen, refuses to let the Doctor return to the underground complex and instead forces him to accompany the others back to the village.
The Inquisitor finds the scenes of primitive violence distasteful, and the Valeyard takes the opportunity to claim that the Doctor's predeliction for such violence is well-known. The Doctor protests but his objections are overruled and the evidence continues...
The Doctor and his companions are taken back to the Tribe, where Katryca accuses Dibber of destroying the totem, refuses to listen to the Doctor's attempt to explain the danger, and has them all imprisoned (except for Balazar, whom she accepts into the Tribe). The Doctor takes the opportunity to question Glitz, who confirms that this planet is indeed Earth, several light years out of position (which is why the relief expedition from Andromeda couldn't find it when they finally arrived). But before the Doctor can learn exactly what it is Glitz is after, the L1 service robot breaks into their hut and snatches the Doctor, stunning him with an electrical shock and carrying him away. Glitz, Dibber and Peri take the opportunity to escape. Meanwhile, Drathro observes the Tribe of the Free on the images sent back by the L1 robot and concludes that they have destroyed its black light converter; it must take measures to destroy them.
The Doctor points out that much of this testimony is speculative; the Matrix can only access his personal memories as a Time Lord, not those of other people. He learns that advances in technology have made it possible to record events which occurred within range of a TARDIS -- but since his TARDIS is an old model that must mean it's been bugged...
Katryca leads the Tribe in an attack on the L1 robot, which they manage to destroy, nearly killing the Doctor in the process. Since none of them have ever seen the Immortal, but know him from legend to be a tall creature made entirely of steel, they conclude that the L1 robot is the Immortal and that they have now destroyed it, which means the underground complex is theirs to plunder. As Katryca leads the Tribe to the underground complex, Dibber and Glitz set off back to their ship for the heavy firepower which they suspect will soon be necessary, and Peri rushes to the unconscious Doctor. The Doctor recovers with a splitting headache and Peri brings him up to date on the disastrous situation.
Following the destruction of the L1 robot, Drathro concludes that the Doctor has been sent from Gallifrey to recover the Secrets stolen by the Sleepers, and that to this end he has armed the Tribe of the Free in order to foster rebellion. Humker and Tandrell begin to wonder for the first time what will happen to them if the Doctor succeeds. Drathro isn't concerned; even if they are killed it will force the Doctor to help it. But by this time it's obvious that the black light system is approaching catastrophic collapse, and when that happens they will all be killed...
Grell has suspected for some time that Merdeen has been disobeying the Immortal and sending people to the surface, but he has no proof; nevertheless, he confronts Merdeen with his suspicions and threatens to go to the Immortal unless Merdeen allows him to accompany him in his search for the Doctor. Meanwhile, Katryca and her followers enter the complex to find and plunder the Immortal's Castle. Soon afterwards the Doctor and Peri enter the complex as well, the Doctor determined to shut down the black light system before it explodes and kills everyone. Glitz and Dibber are right behind them, determined to seize the Secrets before the Doctor can get to them --
-- but a portion of this extract has been excised from the Matrix records, as revealing it would be against the public interest. The Doctor is suspicious but doesn't object...yet.
The Doctor and Peri, searching for the Immortal's Castle, instead run into Merdeen, who raises his crossbow and fires at point-blank range. Merdeen shoots and kills Grell, who dies without ever understanding why Merdeen betrayed the Immortal. Meanwhile, Katryca and her followers arrive at the Immortal's Castle, where Humker and Tandrell, fearing for their lives, open the doors to let them in and then slip out while the Tribes-people are staring in horror at Drathro. Katryca and Broken Tooth attempt to attack Drathro, but it kills them both with an energy discharge and orders the terrified Tribespeople to wait outside to be culled later. The Doctor, Peri and Merdeen run into the fleeing Humker and Tandrell, and the Doctor questions them about the situation and learns that he may have only minutes to prevent the black light explosion.
The Inquisitor questions the relevance of the testimony, and the Doctor questions the seriousness of the trial; the charges are trumped-up and the points of law non-existent. The Valeyard claims not to be distressed by the Doctor's childish outbursts and repeats that the chain of events they are witnessing was triggered by the Doctor's being where he should not.
Dibber, tired of carting heavy weaponry through the underground complex, questions the importance of the secrets Glitz is looking for, but Glitz wearily reminds him that the secrets were stolen from --
Again, a portion of this evidence has been excised, and this time the Doctor does object; but the High Council's orders stand, and the excised sequence is not heard.
-- the largest information store in the Universe, and as such the advanced technology will be worth a fortune to the correct bidder.
The Doctor arrives at the Castle and convinces Drathro to let him in and listen to him. He insists that the black light system must be shut down, but Drathro refuses to let him do so, since that will mean Drathro's deactivation. The Doctor tries to argue logically, but Drathro is working from the premise that its "work-units" are there to serve its function and have no intrinsic value of their own; even the fact that humans create robots logically means robots are more advanced, therefore of greater value. As the Doctor tries to think of another tack, Glitz and Dibber arrive and help Merdeen and Peri to break into the Castle through the food distribution chamber. Drathro, concluding that the Doctor was simply trying to distract it, activates the food processing units, nearly killing Peri and the others, but Dibber destroys the processors with his heavy weaponry and blows a hole into Drathro's control room.
Since the system is minutes away from collapse Drathro sees no reason to waste further energy killing the intruders, and this gives Glitz the opportunity he needs to convince Drathro to return to Glitz's spacecraft, claiming that they have a fully-functional black light energy system there. Drathro accepts their claim and collects the Secrets, and orders Glitz to restrain the Doctor to prevent him from shutting down the black light system before it can reach safety. Glitz, however, deliberately ties the Doctor with a slipknot, giving him the opportunity he needs to extract himself and his friends. He shuts down the system in the nick of time, and the explosion is contained, destroying only the Immortal's Castle.
As his black light system collapses, Drathro falls over and explodes, and Glitz and Dibber realize too late that he's fallen on top of the Secrets, destroying them all. Still, as long as they can salvage the wreckage of the light converter aerial they'll have made a profit on this venture. As they depart, Humker and Tandrell emerge from the underground, and, upon smelling the wonderful fresh air, realize for the first time that some aspects of life aren't entirely logical after all. The Doctor, meanwhile, emerges safely from the wreckage of the Castle and advises Merdeen and Balazar to work together with the Tribe to create a new home for humanity; perhaps one day they will even discover the legendary Habitats of the Canadian Goose. But as he and Peri depart, the Doctor ponders the loose ends of the adventure; just what was in that box of secrets, and how and why was the Earth moved so far from its correct constellation?
The Doctor considers this evidence balanced in his favour; some lives were lost, but he was able to save the majority of Drathro's slaves and free them to a better life, not to mention preventing a catastrophic explosion which could have damaged the fabric of time and space itself. But the Valeyard points out again that the events they witnessed were triggered by the Doctor's arrival on Ravolox, which has proven his point about the Doctor's interference; and once he has finished presenting the next segment of evidence he feels certain that the Time Lords will have no hesitation in condemning the Doctor to death.
You can see that the Valeyard certainly had it in for me, but I am sure that whatever evidence he throws at me, I can rely on my natural intelligence to see him off!
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